Diffusing emotional reactivity. Understanding the cyclic process of our thoughts, interpretations and emotions.

This is a wonderful avenue of inner exploration which I have been becoming curious about recently and funnily enough, this morning I came across this talk by Gil Fronsdal who is a Buddhist monk and public speaker from the Insight Meditation Centre in Red Wood City California. I love the way he simplifies complex streams of thought through quaint little stories. They seem to stick. The following is a combination of a transcription from the talk and my own words on the topic. 

The relationship between our story making, our thoughts, interpretations and our emotions is a cyclical relationship, a kind of two way exchange. Sometimes its clear that we make stories according to the emotions that we are experiencing, and sometimes we experience emotions because of the stories we tell ourselves.

“For example. It’s like if you go for a walk down a street and you pass a dark alleyway. You see in the shadows a figure approaching you from the darkness. You start to tell yourself “oh no it’s a thug coming to rob me... I’m sure that’s what it is... and I have all my money and life savings in my bag! What if they rob me i'll be homeless and no one will love me... oh and I wont get to shower! Then you get even more afraid as everyone on the streets becomes scary and intimidating. There all judging you saying that you are homeless, cause you obviously look pretty shabby. The fear triggers all this story making and finally when you gain the courage to look down the alleyway, you see a little kitty kat, and there is a light coming up from below, blowing up this scary shadow on the wall making it a whole lot bigger than it actually is.”

So this demonstrates how we create stories from our initial fear and then how our stories trigger all the secondary emotions in response. What starts the emotional spiral? We can’t really know. It’s sort of like the chicken and the egg. How much of our emotions are mediated through concepts and stories is a fascinating investigation, and a pracice we can embrace through our everyday life. All it takes is a moment of relaxed, attentive reflection.

This week take a few moments, when you might reflect upon your story making. There are hidden invitations in every interaction. See if you can catch yourself before you leap. And see how that is for you. 

With love

Lewin